Weeks Closing In...

I don't know if anyone even reads this here blog of mine, but I just keep on writing...do I keep this thing for others or for me?  I really don't know.

Anyways, Karma's official letter from the US Embassy arrived (finally), so he can go to his medical exam and get all the loose ends tied up for his big day on the 23rd (22nd here in the US).

My mind has been sitting with this idea of him ACTUALLY coming here, living together, getting married.  It's been an intense week.  I really stand by my decision, but am also aware that there will be some serious adjustments and letting go of habits and routines (for both of us).

Really, I'd just like a clean slate.  Is that possible with all these habitual patterns?  I guess that's the one of the points of practicing the Dharma- to change these habits.  To let go of those that only lead to suffering (or just uneasiness, unsettledness, dis-satisfactoryness, etc...)

I want to welcome him here with an open heart/mind and open arms.  I want to let go of all my annoying neurosis' and just experience whatever happens with acceptance & curiosity and without judgement.  Regardless of what  I want and how I want to be or how I want things to be, they will unfold as they will.  I will have to practice in each of the moments as they arise.

I pray I have the open-heartedness, faith and strength to look at each of those unique moments.  To hold them and to act from a place of compassion, for myself and for Karma.

I have fear, but it's also surrounded by excitement and love...and I have an amazing network of support, to which I am very, very grateful.

xo